Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Forever in my heart!

Well that dreaded time has come…that time that you must say goodbye to something that has ALWAYS held such a special spot in your heart. My second home for all my younger years. The place that holds SO MANY great and loving memories. To some it may just be mortar and bricks but to me those memories hold so many, many, many, stories. I can still see my Granny cooking all those wonderful meals in the kitchen, and Grandpa with his pipe sitting across the bar watching her and telling her “man it smells good!” I can hear them say “Well look who is here” when I would first arrive to visit. I can still feel the love that this home brought us and see vivdly every holiday with our entire huge family, never once feeling like we had ever outgrown it. This house was our entire families “ROCK” ! No matter what came up in any of our lives, we knew one thing for sure….Granny and Grandpa’s house would ALWAYS be there and at the door you would find open arms to greet you. I will miss this house almost as much as I miss my grandparents. To watch the house that my grandparents cherished and worked so hard for be sold is heartbreaking. A new family will soon be moving in and making it a home once again. My plans are to greet them with a heartwarming (house-warming) gift. I think by doing this it will not only help heal my broken heart but allow me to see that what are now just memories to me is a new and wonderful future for the new family. The house has never been the same since my grandparents left it, seeing it sit alone for many years has been painful to watch. So I believe to see life there again, hopes and future dreams will bring healing to my broken heart. I have to keep reminding myself that that this home was just their temporary house and that they are now living in the castle they truly worked so hard here on earth for. I hope and pray that the new family will cherish this house as much as me and my family did. This place will never leave my heart, it was a part of who I am today and for that I AM SO LUCKY!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"Mom, cant God do something about it?"

Well my 10 year old son came and asked “Why is everyone so worried about this Swineflu? Can’t God do something about it?” I am sure that the many talks his father and I have given him about washing his hands, the brochures the school sent out,the news reports of how GLOBAL it is and the lectures from his teachers have him really worried. But the second part of his question got me to thinking.....and so I started to blog. LOL...the rest is history.

You know we all learn as little kids to pray “God is Good, God is great...” So it’s only natural for us to believe that if God is good then He will make life GOOD for us. So when things are going well we're inclined to think that God is indeed good, and when they don't, we question His goodness or even His existence. This is when we must understand that we aren't the center of the universe, not the reference point against which goodness can be judged. Sometimes we act and feel as though God's goodness depends on how well we like what's going on. To many times we ask ourselves “Why would God allow this to happen?” This is when we must understand that WE are NOT in a position to judge the actions of our God. We are just a teeny tiny small part of his overall picture. I personally think that the ONLY way for each of us to know in our hearts that God is good is to get to know him and his character one on one. Once you do there is no denying that God not only exists and is GOOD but that he brings Good from sufferings and tragedies. Trust me, when God reveals himself to you, then you know GOD IS GOOD! His goodness is pure, true and beyond anything you ever imagined. So is God always good? Yes, God is the source of EVERYTHING good, but in order to see it you must first form an active relationship with him. Now I agree that faith doesn't come easily. We all see the power of evil and wonder why God doesn’t stop it. You pray on occasion, but feel that our prayers don’t go anywhere. You may have gone to church but just find no connection with it, leaving you to try and convince yourself that believing in God is irrational. Let me assure you though of this, when you begin to doubt, then your allowing the enemy to win. He wants nothing more than for you to doubt our God. I too once doubted and found it easier to just exist in this world until my time came to leave (not real sure of what would happen after that however). My husbands Granny who is 94 and one of the SMARTEST people I have ever met was the reason for my fast and abrupt turn around. She knew immediately that I was a worrier and cared so deeply for my family that I would worry myself sick (LITERALLY). She gave me bibles and prayer books that I carry with me TO THIS DAY! This lady who I have SO much RESPECT and ADMIRATION for taught me TONS.. she taught me... that I had to start looking for God in EVERYTHING (good and bad), listen and try to absorb without rejecting what you don't understand yet, learn from those who do know, keep a open mind, but first and foremost you have to WANT to believe. Faith is a deep trust, a trust in our God. Once you meet him you will no longer doubt him and your life will be BLESSED! So my answer to my son was this....Nothing happens without the permission of God. When illness like this strikes the reasons may not be apparent, or perhaps even be within our understanding. However God wants only good for humankind. We can therefore be sure that there is great wisdom behind the affliction and that it presents us with the opportunity to develop a closer relationship with God. When illness strikes, the best course of action is to thank God, try to be closer to Him and to do all the things we have been taught to fight against catching it ourselves, all while thanking him for our many BLESSINGS.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Happy Birthday Peyton!!!

Well I survived yet another birthday party and boy can I tell I am getting OLD!! I am wore completely out Skylar had many parties, one that I so vividly recall had 30 girls sleeping on my floor. I could stay up until the wee hours of the morning and acted as if I to was 10, 11, 12, etc.etc. years old. NOT ANYMORE! Either I am getting older or boys are just WAY more rambunctious and full of energy. Not sure why I sound so shocked since I AM the one however that fed them plenty of Jelly Belly’s, sour punch straws ( thank you Nano by the way..they LOVED them) and Cupcakes. They were a WONDERFUL group (12 in all) of boys, with a lot of life in them (which I love to see)! Peyton told me that it was his best birthday ever (he does however say this after every party-lol). I know that his opening a CELL PHONE from one of his best friends could be a contributing factor to his smile that has not left his face. We have been holding strong to our decision of NO PHONE until he is in middle school at which time he would be starting to travel with his teams. So his dad and I will discuss how we will handle him and his new found (given) love. He received LOTS of wonderful gifts and had a great party! I did finally go to bed leaving Glenn, Trevor, and Kody to tend to the boys until about 2:45am.! I took the 6:00am shift when I was awoken by Glenn telling me “TAG your it”! They slept MAYBE 3 hours and woke with a vengeance. I have to hand it to Glenn, he is a trooper! While I tended to sleeping bags, getting teeth brushed etc. etc. Glenn got up and fixed a FULL breakfast for the small army we had! Feeding 12 hungry, growing boys is no small feat. After breakfast I asked the boys to gather their things since their parents would be arriving shortly and heard MANY GROWNS, which told me they had as much fun as Peyton did! This makes me very, very happy! Now it’s time for us to rest up and start preparing for May and June parties…UGH! Good thing my son Trevor doesn’t enjoy huge parties! Ever since he was small he has only wanted 3 MAYBE 4 kids over. I have taken it upon myself in the past to throw him big parties only for him to tell me that smaller ones are WAY better. So May holds Trevor’s 15th bday and my hubby Glenn’s big 40th (both on the same day May 30th)! Then ending our party season with a HUGE graduation party for Skylar on the second weekend of June! Come July we will be taken a long and well deserved vacation! Hope everybody had as great and wonderful weekend as we did.

The very sweaty BIRTHDAY BOY!!!


Steven may be tiny but he is MIGHTY!!!

My sweet Trevor who had just gotten home after his team took 2nd in their Poultry judging!!!

The kids feeding our calves! Peyton thought it was a welcome break from him having to do his daily

Hot dogs was the requested meal of the day!


Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Hi guys! Sorry it has been awhile since I blogged! I have received so many emails asking me WHY???...and I love it! It shows I have so many friends that care but themselves DONT BLOG....I WISH THEY WOULD!!! Finding time can sometimes be extremely difficult. This one will be just a brief update and I promise to blog in detail later. My life has been CRAZY lately. Good thing I LOVE craziness! Trevor goes to competition this week for Poultry judging. Say a prayer, those poor kids have been really working hard! My family and I just attended the Pollok Fundraiser for little Luke this past was wonderful to see so MANY compassionate people. My prayers go out to Luke and his family. If your interested in finding out more about Luke and his journey here is his website: Before attending the FUNraiser, we went to church in Pana Maria and took flowers to my grandparents who are buried there. The church is just GORGEOUS, and we shocked my aunt and uncle who were not expecting us. It was just a wonderful, BLESSED day! I am now planning Peyton's sleepover for his birthday this weekend. WISH ME LUCK! 15 young boys running around is sure to tire me out! OHHHHHHHH and I have began a workout program which has got me so sore! I told Glenn that my muscles remind me of bears that have been woken from hibernation and they are ROARING LOUDLY! OUCHHHHHHHHHH!

Well I love you guys and will blog later and I promise to have some pictures with it!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Easter weekend can be summed up in one word………….BLESSED! I know it’s that word again that I use ALL THE TIME on here. But it truly was a blessed weekend. We had such a super day! A little bit of much needed rain, lots of sunshine, happy kids, tons of GREAT FOOD provided by all who came, wonderful conversation, and much needed laughter was the recipe of a successful gathering! Thank you to all my family and friends for a enjoyable Easter Sunday together – I feel super blessed. I so enjoyed the little guys!! Just watching them run, jump, pick on one another and then die laughing, playing pool, watching Glenn hold up the very young ones so they could see the birds nest full of polka dot eggs, and then watching them bounce each other crazy in the moon bounce did my heart good. Watching the bond between cousins, and listening to kids screaming and laughing while having fun, and seeing them laugh from the belly over something little is FOOD FOR MY SOUL! My weekend ended in celebration and my week began the exact same way. My daughter Skylar turned 18!! WOW! We had a FUN, RELAXING DAY!!! I went to bed that night remembering that feeling 18 years ago that changed my life forever. That overwhelming intense, protective feeling, the feeling of such love and loyalty. I remember looking at Glenn with HUGE tears in his eyes and both of us feeling such pride and joy. Now after 18 years, we both feel that same pride and joy, and are learning how to now let our baby leave our protective wings (which is so hard) and yet still give protection from a distance. I'm also grateful for all three of my children. They give me a reality check - their very existence has helped me put things into perspective. My children make me realize what really matters, help me see my own strengths and have taught me a kind of love I never knew existed. HAHA I’m sure Glenn will read this and go WHAT THE H@&&.... But what I mean is children teach you about unconditional love. Sure I would swim oceans and battle wars for my hubby but there Is NOTHING that my children could ever do to make me fall out of love for them. I will close this blog by THANKING GOD for the JOY in my life! While I love my happy moments with my life, family and friends I do understand that happiness is a temporary emotional thing that comes and goes. Happiness can be brought to you by the enemy and take you farther from God if your not careful, but JOY is so important that the enemy tries to rob you of it daily. Joy brings us peace in the middle of craziness and is something that only GOD can give us through our spirit. Remember when happiness leaves us JOY remains! I hope you all had a HAPPY and JOYFUL Easter weekend!

Hugs to all!


Friday, April 3, 2009

Some friends teach you the greatest gift of all!

My life is generally very serene and balanced. But recently I have become consumed with mothers that are hurting so bad it is beyond my control. The reason for this is no doubt my deep love for my own children. My friend Tesi Pugh has taught me A LOT...she has taught me that no matter how hard you try and want to help somebody the greatest gift you can do is PRAY! She then told me that she feels like I empathize and not just sympathize. After researching what empathy is I found that it is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes," or in some way experience what the other person is feeling. I have come to realize that emotions are powerful, emotions can have a life of their own. Sometimes as people we must control our emotions and not let them control us. This is very hard for me when it comes to a mother's pain for a child. Empathy is an intellectual, emotional, and, ultimately, a spiritual discipline. I must learn to listen openly at the times when it isn’t easy and NOT try and find a cure. Insight helps me distinguish my “stuff” from theirs. I must be patient with myself and allow myself room and time to grow in this area. I have also learned that life is strongly led by ATTITUDE! This is not to say that one person grieves better than another, but that attitude can ultimately allow a person to grieve without giving the devil a playground pass into ones spirit. I have seen people whose attitude was of anger or hurt to such an extent that they can never get beyond a particular event, which then becomes the defining moment of their life. And then I have seen just the opposite where people who have gone through one of life's most PAINFUL events and yet their attitude somehow remained positive and they even teach others to believe that there is an ultimate good. The comparison is so unbelievable between these two attitudes. Living with the concept of a good God is so much more uplifting and gives a person the ability to remain joyful and hopeful and have the strength to go on and fight. So as I fall asleep tonight and first thing I will do when I awake in the morning will be to pray. Pray not only for the mother hurting or the pain the child is going through, but for God to teach me to understand the true meaning of John 14:27 "I am leaving you with a gift -- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid” .

I will conclude with the following poem I read and feel God has applied to my life:

I asked for strength and
God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom and
God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity and
God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage and
God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love and
God gave me troubled people to help...

Sorry to make this blog longer than it should but as I find myself consumed in thought for my blogs, I lose track of time. As I wrap this one up it dawns on me that my soon to be 10 year old is much quieter than usual, and so my search begins. SCREAMING his name 5000 times and searching every inch of the house still no child in sight. I head outside to begin the same ritual that I just performed inside. Still NOTHING, so I head down to the pasture to look, once there a little DIRTY barefoot, cotton head kid catches my eye...this is what I find....

So i quietly run back to the house grab my camera since I feel it is so dang adorable and typical of my BIRD HUNTER. As I go in for the closer shot, I frighten the Field larks and completely TICK off my dear sweet Peyton, who has now jumped and yelled "MOM, WHY DID YOU SCARE AWAY THE BIRDS???".

OH WELL, THE MUCH LIGHTER MOMENT WAS A WELL NEEDED BREAK!!!! I think I will go enjoy a glass of wine with my hubby who feels cheated at times by the computer and my blogging world. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Welcome to Kosub Country...Where we are surrounded by Live Oaks! As most of you know my house has Oak trees all the way around it, so at this time every year it is FALLING SPRING!!! At some point you could drive by and quite possibly see me with a rake in my hand. Excuse me while I whine a little. I have so many leaves that I have no doubt I will be seeing them in my sleep! As I rake, I start to wonder "WHY IN THE HECK AM I DOING THIS", since as I do more leaves are hitting me like a rainstorm from above. I begin to think about Henny Penny when she starts running around yelling "THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING"! Not just leaves are falling, but POLLEN as well.

The pollen covers the sidewalks, our cars, the tables, and OUR DOG! Our poor little KB that is usually a puff of snow white hair, comes in looking at me like "what in the heck is happening to me???", he has pollen ALL OVER HIM!
There is no running from it, the only thing running around here would be our noses!! We keep Kleenex in business this time of year! OKAY OKAY...I'm sure your tired of hearing it already...There is a upside if I just remain focused on it....this does only happen once a year, the exercise by NO MEANS hurts me, and the trees do provide shade year round.Other than hurricane force wind at times the weather has been BEAUTIFUL!! . Our vegetable garden has soaked in the rain that we have recieved and is sprouting out! We were blessed with NO HAIL, unlike our friends south of us towards Nixon. SO yes, LIFE IS GOOD even if POLLEN is giving our sinuses HELL (haha)! So I guess my whining should be limited to little if at all! AFTER ALL it is APRIL! Which means I have LOTS of celebrations to plan. WE have EASTER followed by Sky's birthday and end the month celebrating Peyton's! April and May have always been my favorite months of the year, so I better start enjoying them before they are gone! =)